First up is Dirty Playground, which hosts an annual summer camp just outside of Portland. Luckily, we’ve got several events run by and for queer folks, also. But of course to really be queer friendly it takes more than writing those words on your event description. In Portland, most kink venues, parties, and events are at least nominally queer friendly. Once you start attending events, you will likely see stuff you’re not into. Also, be careful not to yuck anyone’s yum. Simply attending as a voyeur is a great way to get started and get an idea of what you like. When you do decide to attend parties, that doesn’t mean you have to play. To really be queer friendly it takes more than writing those words on your event description. If the word queer feels like home for part of you or all of you, you are WELCOME.†Fetlife: PDX Queer Munch Facebook: PDXMunch. By queer, we mean gay men, lesbians, fags, dykes, bisexuals, pansexuals, and polysexuals along with transfolk, those who are genderqueer, gender flexible, gender fluid, and gender fuckers. According to their description, “This munch is for anyone who identifies as queer and their partners. Although there’s a munch almost every night of the week in Portland, there is also a queer-specific munch that meets every first Thursday at Radio Room. A munch is a social event for kinksters, usually at a restaurant or bar (hence the name) where no play occurs. When you are first starting out, check out some munches. Terms like “good boi/y†or “good girl,†are common in kink spaces, so let people know if those work for you or not. Let folks know what words you use for your gender and body parts, and find out about theirs. Don’t forget to negotiate sexual safety (gloves, condoms, etc.) if sex is part of what you’re doing. Consider how much—if any—sexual touch you want as a part of your kink, and negotiate that carefully. Think not only about what you want to do, but how you want to feel. Try to get a sense for what you might like to try, and what is a definite “no.†Negotiating a kink scene should go into a lot of detail. Look up yes/no/maybe lists online, read some kinky erotica, and talk to your friends. When you are diving into kink, you also need to make sure your communication and negotiation skills are well honed, because they are essential to BDSM safety. This is often called a “safe call†and it’s a great system to have in place. Be careful not to give out too much personal information to people before you get to know them, and make sure at least one person knows where you are going, who you are with, and when you will be back or check in. Other safety considerations are similar to any kind of dating or going out that you might do. And although most events do not allow photography, a few do, so that is something to look at when deciding what events you would like to attend.
Before you start that account with pictures of your face (or identifiable tattoos), think long and hard about any potential consequences to being outed as kinky. The first one that comes up for most people is safety and privacy. When you decide to get involved, there are a few things to think about. There’s an event of some kind almost every night of the week, so you are likely to have a harder time filtering than finding something to do.
By Stella Harris Portland has been called the kinkiest city in the country, so if kink and BDSM is something you are interested in, you’re in the right place.